Well folks, life is never dull around here and consequently I came upon a decision.. well several decisions in light of recent events in my life.
It began when I was looking through some old pics and I found a pic of me with an old flame who I had lost contact with, I was getting all wistful and melancholy over lost love and how time passes that I thought.. "You know something, you can do something about this" and I did. I managed to find said person and re-introduced myself, wondering if he remembered me, etc.. This took me down another path, to find more old pics and put them on my Facebook. So I waded through what is left of my photo collection (I literally destroyed hundreds and hundreds of them a few years ago, in a fit of "that part of my life is SO over" rage) meaning that I had literally destroyed lots of memories along with them. I kept a few with me in them and a few special ones, the rest went into the bin along with the negatives. Hey ho.
Anyway, I posted more pics onto my Facebook and the reaction was immediate, old friends began posting, new friends posted and it created a frenzy for a few hours... this made me so happy, as I had not only sparked memories in myself, but in others too. Looking back to happier, fun times and remembering them with delight and joy.
So, what has that got to do with hair, or anything else for that matter. Well, it got me thinking, the happiest times in my life were as a red head, a sort of coppery/auburn, which seemed to suit me and also to suit my character. I have been every shade of every colour down the years and as seen from "Hair Today Hair Tomorrow" original posting, my most recent hair decisions had been mightily flawed.
So there I was, sitting and reminiscing, feeling all nostalgic and I thought, it wasn't just the hair, it was everything about me in those days.. I was true to myself. I didn't care what other people thought, I dressed how I pleased (usually some kind of t-shirt, jeans, cowboy boots and a bright red leather jacket).. or if I went out, then lycra, lace and thigh boots.. or something like that.. Well, I was a bit of a rock chick and I liked myself like that. It suited who I was as a person.. a kind of square peg in a round hole. I've never fitted in, and I'm not moaning about that, far from it.. But I realised it too strength to be like that, strength to put myself out there as different, strength to be myself. I was fit and healthy in those days, I walked for miles, even if it was to the pub on a Friday night, would dance my weekends away and generally enjoy life to the full. If I didn't like something I wasn't afraid of saying it, if I wasn't happy, I would say why I wasn't happy and I would move on. I realised I had stopped being like that when I started to listen to what other people said. When I started to feel that because of my age, I must start conforming (I was in my early to mid 20's at the time). I tried everything, and the more I tried the more unhappy I became. I made dreadful and costly mistakes to my life and career. My health suffered terribly and I developed conditions and put on weight because I was over eating, because I wasn't happy in myself, I wasn't being true to me!
So it took nearly 20 years of looking back over a couple of days, to allow me to come to a decision and to begin implementing changes. These are:
1) I will eat less and move more, this will enable me to feel more confident about my body image.
2) I will get rid of the awful mop of over bleached hair with grey roots and go back to being a red head
3) I will wear what the hell I like (within reason)
4) I will not be dictated to by anyone. If someone doesn't like something I say/do/whatever, well, I shall listen to their opinion, but it is only that, their opinion. I will respect that opinion as they have a right to it.
5) If I make a mistake, I will own up to it with integrity and put it right.
6) I will be my true, loving, unique self in my relationships
7) I will be true to myself. I will do what makes me happy.
I know these few things might not sound like much, but they are huge to me, I feel like I'm a butterfly partially out of the chrysalis, re-emerging into myself again after a long dark hibernation.
Anyway, onto the hair pics..
So here we have the "before" pics. It was bad enough the fact that I bleached my hair twice.. the colour is simply shocking and I couldn't live with it anymore. The salon manager was trying to be polite and I said "Just be honest, I'm not bothered, it was my fault that its that colour".. She replied.. "well its khaki in certain lights". I chose not to be upset, but to do something about it. Also the white hair isn't evenly spaced about my head, but peppered and interspersed with chunks of white.. Awful.
Here it is "after"... Phew, what a difference. Its made my hair look longer and much shinier and in loads better condition! Excuse the lack of make-up, but I just wanted to get the pics up. It does look quite dark at the moment, but I know it'll fade a bit, which is fine. Its cost me a fair bit to get this far.. But its worth it. I hated having my hair chopped off so short, but I also accept that I made the mistake in the first place. No point blaming everyone else, I make a mistake, I fix it.
The final one, outside, so you can see the depth of colour. It looks sooo shiny. Not sure which brand of colours they use, think they might be Matrix ones, but I'm really impressed.
