With a 'poorly' girl at home today, its led me to thinking a bit about 'stuff'.. Time for me to re-assess certain things that were once important to me and to see if I'm ready to move forward with others. Solstice,standstill, time for reflection. As the sun starts to dip on the horizon and the days get shorter I'm taking note of the signs and signals that are bringing me to this place. Honouring the light of the world and the light within. Time to emerge from the chrysalis. I realised over the past few years that I was holding myself back from fully realising everything in my life. Using excuses and other people as both a crutch for positive and negative experiences. I am who I am. These past few years have revealed so much to me and have allowed me the space and time to consider my options and to work toward something more tangible. I have changed my life's path, changed my career and changed so much and as a result have grown exponentially. Realising this has been a personal revelation. I am thoroughly enjoying my life right now am so pleased that I have remarkable people in it, all of whom I love dearly (yeah, that means you lot out there), have two amazing daughters who reflect to me every day who I am. I have a wonderful man in my life who shows me love through the things that he does (he stopped the car to get my crochet out of the boot when we were travelling.. it was such a sweet gesture and had a great impact on me). I am so fortunate in so many ways. I'm also beginning to feel the effects of the vitamin D (which is probably a lot to do with it). You see, when you're in darkness its difficult to see the light, when you are in darkness and dullness your inner light won't function, my little blue pills are liquid light in a capsule.This internalised process of metabolising the light and raising my internal levels and being able to sit in the sun this past weekend has been vital to my sense of who I am.
I know that sitting in the sun, in a lovely part of the world might not seem like much, but for me, it is. A sense of belonging and despite differences of opinion, knowing that my opinion is considered, whether its right or not, is again important to me, knowing that I have been heard. I am grateful that I am open to hearing the opinions of others too and that still respecting each other is a vital part of that personal growth. I am so grateful to all those who were there and made the experience possible.
I have struggled with a few things the past few years, whether it be my weight, my health, relationships, parenting and so much besides. However, I know that if I at least meet the world halfway I am rewarded thousandfold.
So, as I open up to the inner and outer light of the world, I am thankful that I have so many wonderful things in my life. Yes, they could be snatched away from me in a second, but I would rather not worry about that. I would much rather bask in the sunlight, ever hopeful that whatever challenges and changes that life brings will be coped with and bared with a smile.
I have realised that I have potential. I can do things I didn't think I could and I can rise to all challenges set before me. Its not whether I complete something or not, but the actual doing of the thing which is important.
Thank you for reading.
Tuesday, 23 June 2015
Friday, 3 April 2015
A Change of Direction
Well its April.... and I decided to have a bit of a change around with this blog and how it might be perceived.
I used to call this blog "Forty Plus, Fat and Fabulous" because I thought it described me quite well. However since embarking on the weight loss journey I have decided to change it to "Forty Plus, Foxy and Fabulous", my reasons for doing so are thus.
1) The word "Fat" has so many negative connotations in society and do I really want to have a negative perception levelled at me?
2) I began losing weight and my weight loss journey being noted on here, which has left me thinking that "fat" is no longer a descriptive term I wish to be associated with.
That doesn't mean I'm becoming a "fat fascist".. someone who is anti-fat.. I'm not. I'm more interested in being healthy. Now there are plenty of people who say for them being fat is healthy and good on them. I thought I was healthy when I was fat, but ultimately I was in denial about how fat I was getting again.. I say again because I had been morbidly obese throughout my pregnancies and was in complete denial of it. I had been in denial of my fat for many years. I just accepted that I was bigger and didn't really give it much thought. I didn't like photos of me, but just thought "well, its the way I am"... I tried dieting before and lost some weight, but struggled to keep it off, and regained most of it.
It was only one day when I was stood in my GP surgery that things changed and I asked the receptionist "So what about this Lifestyle Programme".. and I joined it and started seeing benefits straight away.. So much so, when I was asked if I'd like to try Weight Watchers, I thought.. "why not, I've never tried it before, be good to give something with some structure a try".
The thing with trying to lose weight is that unless you're fairly disciplined, its really difficult. We are surrounded by so many tasty things to eat, so many lovely delightful temptations, people that sabotage us and to be honest, even sabotaging ourselves. The trick is to keep on going. As many of you know I put on 10 and half pounds over Christmas and it took me 11 weeks to lose it!! Now I'm back there, I really don't want to ever do that again.. While I may fall off the wagon sometimes, I know I can get back on it straight away and get over it.
I know a lot of people don't like "diet plans".. well, Weight Watchers isn't so much a diet plan as a lifestyle change "Changing People's Relationship with Food for Good" is the tagline.. and it does. I am now much more adventurous in my cooking, I'm cooking at home more and making stuff from scratch. I eat so much fruit and veg I'm practically bursting, but I'm still on a downward trend weight wise, which is the way to go. I'm not someone who goes for quick fixes, with me 'slow and steady wins the race' and I believe that lifelong changes to our lifestyle are what's needed.
Going to the gym has sadly been put to one side for me at present. I've been having some joint problems, lots of unexplained aches and pains and a tiredness which is wiping me out. Despite getting early nights and plenty of rest, so am off to see someone at the hospital about that as a recent couple of blood tests are suggesting inflammation. I'm hoping its nothing serious, but if it is, then I'll just deal with it.
I get my final meeting with my Lifestyle coach next week... Fingers crossed he'll be pleased with my progress so far.
I have other news to share.. I've decided to train as a Weight Watchers Leader, I'm smack bang in the middle of my training now, and I'm loving it. R, my current leader, suggested I go for it and I have. I have my final assessment next week and fingers crossed I have a new career ahead of me as well!
So, yes, I don't see myself as 'fat' any more and have labelled the blog 'Forty Plus, Foxy and Fabulous' which think is much more appropriate.. :-)
I used to call this blog "Forty Plus, Fat and Fabulous" because I thought it described me quite well. However since embarking on the weight loss journey I have decided to change it to "Forty Plus, Foxy and Fabulous", my reasons for doing so are thus.
1) The word "Fat" has so many negative connotations in society and do I really want to have a negative perception levelled at me?
2) I began losing weight and my weight loss journey being noted on here, which has left me thinking that "fat" is no longer a descriptive term I wish to be associated with.
That doesn't mean I'm becoming a "fat fascist".. someone who is anti-fat.. I'm not. I'm more interested in being healthy. Now there are plenty of people who say for them being fat is healthy and good on them. I thought I was healthy when I was fat, but ultimately I was in denial about how fat I was getting again.. I say again because I had been morbidly obese throughout my pregnancies and was in complete denial of it. I had been in denial of my fat for many years. I just accepted that I was bigger and didn't really give it much thought. I didn't like photos of me, but just thought "well, its the way I am"... I tried dieting before and lost some weight, but struggled to keep it off, and regained most of it.
It was only one day when I was stood in my GP surgery that things changed and I asked the receptionist "So what about this Lifestyle Programme".. and I joined it and started seeing benefits straight away.. So much so, when I was asked if I'd like to try Weight Watchers, I thought.. "why not, I've never tried it before, be good to give something with some structure a try".
The thing with trying to lose weight is that unless you're fairly disciplined, its really difficult. We are surrounded by so many tasty things to eat, so many lovely delightful temptations, people that sabotage us and to be honest, even sabotaging ourselves. The trick is to keep on going. As many of you know I put on 10 and half pounds over Christmas and it took me 11 weeks to lose it!! Now I'm back there, I really don't want to ever do that again.. While I may fall off the wagon sometimes, I know I can get back on it straight away and get over it.
I know a lot of people don't like "diet plans".. well, Weight Watchers isn't so much a diet plan as a lifestyle change "Changing People's Relationship with Food for Good" is the tagline.. and it does. I am now much more adventurous in my cooking, I'm cooking at home more and making stuff from scratch. I eat so much fruit and veg I'm practically bursting, but I'm still on a downward trend weight wise, which is the way to go. I'm not someone who goes for quick fixes, with me 'slow and steady wins the race' and I believe that lifelong changes to our lifestyle are what's needed.
Going to the gym has sadly been put to one side for me at present. I've been having some joint problems, lots of unexplained aches and pains and a tiredness which is wiping me out. Despite getting early nights and plenty of rest, so am off to see someone at the hospital about that as a recent couple of blood tests are suggesting inflammation. I'm hoping its nothing serious, but if it is, then I'll just deal with it.
I get my final meeting with my Lifestyle coach next week... Fingers crossed he'll be pleased with my progress so far.
I have other news to share.. I've decided to train as a Weight Watchers Leader, I'm smack bang in the middle of my training now, and I'm loving it. R, my current leader, suggested I go for it and I have. I have my final assessment next week and fingers crossed I have a new career ahead of me as well!
So, yes, I don't see myself as 'fat' any more and have labelled the blog 'Forty Plus, Foxy and Fabulous' which think is much more appropriate.. :-)
Tuesday, 17 March 2015
And now we're in March 2015!
Well, here we go again, time has passed me by, I've been busy and have tried to remember to update my blogs. Sometimes life does get in the way, which is no bad thing. But is worth knowing and being aware of. Well, here goes.. another update..
Since Christmas and the mammoth 10 and half pounds I put on I have been working hard to try and lose it. I've been stymied along the way with some joint problems, waking each morning with sore feet and wrists, so am currently undergoing some tests and taking a round of anti-infammatories, which has meant that I haven't been back to the gym :-( However, I have been indulging in 'March for March' which is something those of us following Weight Watchers have been trying to do.. basically the idea is to march on the spot for 1 minute for each day of March.. thereby increasing my exercise gradually..
I set a goal last time to take 8 weeks to get to my 15% weight loss of 13 stone 4lbs.. I've not quite got there yet, the lack of moving about quite so much, I think has led to this.. I've been sticking to my plan and have been generally losing steadily.. slight blips at Valentines Day (meal out) and a family meal out at half term.. however, on the whole its going in the right direction!
More news.. I have a new job... I've decided to take the plunge and have been accepted as a Weight Watchers Leader!!! Its terribly exciting and a huge learning curve. The plan works, simple. Its not a diet, but a lifestyle change and it encourages people to change their relationship with food for good.. and it works!! So I'm becoming a walking advocate. If I can do it, anyone can do it. I really mean that. I still have treats, like chocolate and the occasional drink, lots of things really, but I assess my 'ProPoints' and work out what I'm eating accordingly.So, its lots of training to do, lots of practice and hopefully I'll be delivering my own meetings soon and helping other people like myself. It also means that beside this blog, I am under the watchful eye of Weight Watchers, all the people who'll be in my groups and everyone I meet.. Its giving me a huge insentive to keep going.
So here's a latest pic...
Weighing in at 13 stone 8lbs!
Starting weight: 15 stone 12lbs
Since Christmas and the mammoth 10 and half pounds I put on I have been working hard to try and lose it. I've been stymied along the way with some joint problems, waking each morning with sore feet and wrists, so am currently undergoing some tests and taking a round of anti-infammatories, which has meant that I haven't been back to the gym :-( However, I have been indulging in 'March for March' which is something those of us following Weight Watchers have been trying to do.. basically the idea is to march on the spot for 1 minute for each day of March.. thereby increasing my exercise gradually..
I set a goal last time to take 8 weeks to get to my 15% weight loss of 13 stone 4lbs.. I've not quite got there yet, the lack of moving about quite so much, I think has led to this.. I've been sticking to my plan and have been generally losing steadily.. slight blips at Valentines Day (meal out) and a family meal out at half term.. however, on the whole its going in the right direction!
More news.. I have a new job... I've decided to take the plunge and have been accepted as a Weight Watchers Leader!!! Its terribly exciting and a huge learning curve. The plan works, simple. Its not a diet, but a lifestyle change and it encourages people to change their relationship with food for good.. and it works!! So I'm becoming a walking advocate. If I can do it, anyone can do it. I really mean that. I still have treats, like chocolate and the occasional drink, lots of things really, but I assess my 'ProPoints' and work out what I'm eating accordingly.So, its lots of training to do, lots of practice and hopefully I'll be delivering my own meetings soon and helping other people like myself. It also means that beside this blog, I am under the watchful eye of Weight Watchers, all the people who'll be in my groups and everyone I meet.. Its giving me a huge insentive to keep going.
So here's a latest pic...
Weighing in at 13 stone 8lbs!
Lost through Lifestyle: 4lbs
Lost with Weight Watchers: 2 stone.
Since April 2014!
Wednesday, 28 January 2015
Tempus Fugit again!!! How I got through November, The Festive Season and beyond..
Good grief. I hadn't realised how long it has been since I blogged anything. Life got in the way..
I became ill with a chest infection, which I fought off, then had to nurse my youngest through it, she was quite poorly with it, but managed to get better, with some medicine and TLC..
How did this impact on my weight loss??
Well during November I steadily lost, into December and managed to stay on track, The Christmas happened. I did buy some 'naughty' things and thought I'd be clever and take a couple of weeks off my regime and that I'd be OK.
Well it wasn't OK.. I went back to some poor eating habits and ended up putting 10 and a half pounds on!!
I would like to say that I enjoyed every single one of my 10 and half pounds, but in all reality I didn't. I found myself eating for the sake of it. I felt a bit down, so I ate.. lots of very unhealthy food. I totally lost control. I began drinking alcohol again after abstaining for a while. I found myself feeling bloated, heavy and generally unwell as a result. It took its toll on my body more than I anticipated.
What we put in our faces really can have an affect on our well-being. It certainly was the case with me.
It has led me to re-evaluate things a little bit. In that while its important to have some 'nice' foods now and again, having them all the time for two weeks was really a bad idea.
I've also not been back to the gym and I can feel myself getting flabby again.
However, come January and my first weigh in and finding out that I had put on 10 and a half pounds made me more determined to lose it!
So week 1 of January I lost 2 and a half pounds, then last week and this week a pound per week, so I've lost 4 and a half of that 10 pounds already.. Which I'm very pleased about.
As many of you know, I go to Weight Watchers now as part of the 'Healthy Lifestyle' programme, this has been my crutch really in helping me to get 'back on track'.. I've started on a week long 'track everyday and share your results with Facebook' thing set up by R, my leader... its then an honest appraisal of what I eat and where I need to look at things a bit.. I, to be honest had thought things like stock cubes were zero points, yet I've found they're 1 point each.. all those little 1 points here and there can add up.. so I'm honestly tracking now.. and if something is a recipe, putting it into the recipe builder and seeing what the point values are. Means I have to be quite strict with myself.. But its all good habits, imho.
Well, I have some other news.. I've been accepted to go onto the training as a leader with Weight Watchers... Its really quite exciting and a wonderful opportunity to help other people in the same situation as myself. I was asked by R, my leader, if I'd be interested.. I figured 'why not'.. so this is also going to be a good incentive to lose weight and keep it off!!! My first training day is in March.. so wish me luck.... :-)
My last meeting with my Lifestyle Coach P is in April.. so I'm working on losing the weight I put on over Christmas, plus as much of the next stone as I can.. Just to prove that it can be done.
If I can do it, anyone can.
I have been plagued by insecurities down the years and sought solace in food. Food has never let me down. Pizza has been my friend, so has chocolate, and crisps and lovely milky coffees... However, I know that I need to do this for my own benefit. There's nothing wrong with having the odd unhealthy bit of food... but the impact on the body can be severe. I'm not going to turn into one of those intolerant to people persons over what people choose to do themselves. I still love everyone as they are. Just I needed to make a difference to myself because I wasn't happy with how I felt. Only I could change that, so I did.
So my advice to you, if you want a different lifestyle... change it. But you really truly have to want to do it, otherwise no amount of tweaking will make a difference. We're talking life altering experiences. If we don't 'go for it' we'll never know what life will bring us. So, 2015, for me, is the year to GO FOR IT!! And I plan to do that big time!!!
Watch out world, here I come!!
If there are people out there who wish to condemn or criticise.. I would suggest you take a long hard look in the mirror before you judge someone on what they're doing. It takes courage to stand up and be different, to stand up and make a difference, to stand up and be counted. Its easy to sit and complain about people and what they're doing.. Its a whole lot harder to stand defiant and say "I really don't care what you think about me, I'm doing this and I'm going to succeed, through willpower, determination and staying positive"
My advice.. don't listen to the naysayers.. the "Well, I don't know what you're trying to prove" people. Just go for it. Only you can tread the path of your life, only you can make a difference in that life. If you feel you can't make a difference to your life, for whatever reason, try and make a difference in someone else's life. Try to ease someone's suffering. Start to feel better about yourself and your whole life will turn around.
So, I'm walking my talk this year. I have projects and plans for lots of other things regarding my business as well as doing this new venture. I feel like I'm finally stepping into my power. The weight-loss journey has been part of that.
So.. latest info re..everything..
My wonderful first photo at 15 stone 12!! 2 stone makes a lot of difference!
I became ill with a chest infection, which I fought off, then had to nurse my youngest through it, she was quite poorly with it, but managed to get better, with some medicine and TLC..
How did this impact on my weight loss??
Well during November I steadily lost, into December and managed to stay on track, The Christmas happened. I did buy some 'naughty' things and thought I'd be clever and take a couple of weeks off my regime and that I'd be OK.
Well it wasn't OK.. I went back to some poor eating habits and ended up putting 10 and a half pounds on!!
I would like to say that I enjoyed every single one of my 10 and half pounds, but in all reality I didn't. I found myself eating for the sake of it. I felt a bit down, so I ate.. lots of very unhealthy food. I totally lost control. I began drinking alcohol again after abstaining for a while. I found myself feeling bloated, heavy and generally unwell as a result. It took its toll on my body more than I anticipated.
What we put in our faces really can have an affect on our well-being. It certainly was the case with me.
It has led me to re-evaluate things a little bit. In that while its important to have some 'nice' foods now and again, having them all the time for two weeks was really a bad idea.
I've also not been back to the gym and I can feel myself getting flabby again.
However, come January and my first weigh in and finding out that I had put on 10 and a half pounds made me more determined to lose it!
So week 1 of January I lost 2 and a half pounds, then last week and this week a pound per week, so I've lost 4 and a half of that 10 pounds already.. Which I'm very pleased about.
As many of you know, I go to Weight Watchers now as part of the 'Healthy Lifestyle' programme, this has been my crutch really in helping me to get 'back on track'.. I've started on a week long 'track everyday and share your results with Facebook' thing set up by R, my leader... its then an honest appraisal of what I eat and where I need to look at things a bit.. I, to be honest had thought things like stock cubes were zero points, yet I've found they're 1 point each.. all those little 1 points here and there can add up.. so I'm honestly tracking now.. and if something is a recipe, putting it into the recipe builder and seeing what the point values are. Means I have to be quite strict with myself.. But its all good habits, imho.
Well, I have some other news.. I've been accepted to go onto the training as a leader with Weight Watchers... Its really quite exciting and a wonderful opportunity to help other people in the same situation as myself. I was asked by R, my leader, if I'd be interested.. I figured 'why not'.. so this is also going to be a good incentive to lose weight and keep it off!!! My first training day is in March.. so wish me luck.... :-)
My last meeting with my Lifestyle Coach P is in April.. so I'm working on losing the weight I put on over Christmas, plus as much of the next stone as I can.. Just to prove that it can be done.
If I can do it, anyone can.
I have been plagued by insecurities down the years and sought solace in food. Food has never let me down. Pizza has been my friend, so has chocolate, and crisps and lovely milky coffees... However, I know that I need to do this for my own benefit. There's nothing wrong with having the odd unhealthy bit of food... but the impact on the body can be severe. I'm not going to turn into one of those intolerant to people persons over what people choose to do themselves. I still love everyone as they are. Just I needed to make a difference to myself because I wasn't happy with how I felt. Only I could change that, so I did.
So my advice to you, if you want a different lifestyle... change it. But you really truly have to want to do it, otherwise no amount of tweaking will make a difference. We're talking life altering experiences. If we don't 'go for it' we'll never know what life will bring us. So, 2015, for me, is the year to GO FOR IT!! And I plan to do that big time!!!
Watch out world, here I come!!
If there are people out there who wish to condemn or criticise.. I would suggest you take a long hard look in the mirror before you judge someone on what they're doing. It takes courage to stand up and be different, to stand up and make a difference, to stand up and be counted. Its easy to sit and complain about people and what they're doing.. Its a whole lot harder to stand defiant and say "I really don't care what you think about me, I'm doing this and I'm going to succeed, through willpower, determination and staying positive"
My advice.. don't listen to the naysayers.. the "Well, I don't know what you're trying to prove" people. Just go for it. Only you can tread the path of your life, only you can make a difference in that life. If you feel you can't make a difference to your life, for whatever reason, try and make a difference in someone else's life. Try to ease someone's suffering. Start to feel better about yourself and your whole life will turn around.
So, I'm walking my talk this year. I have projects and plans for lots of other things regarding my business as well as doing this new venture. I feel like I'm finally stepping into my power. The weight-loss journey has been part of that.
So.. latest info re..everything..
Picture of me just before a night out.. yes, I'm slightly cheating as I'm wearing a corset... My weight was 13 stone 11 at this point..
I managed to get down to 13 stone 6 on 23/12/14!!
But crept up to 14 stone 2 and half over Christmas...
I managed to get down to 13 stone 6 on 23/12/14!!
But crept up to 14 stone 2 and half over Christmas...
I'm pleased to say that I'm down to 13 stone 12lbs now and going down again!
My 15% weight loss goal is 13 stone 4lbs.. I plan to hit that in the next 8 weeks. (That's losing it a pound a week)...
My wonderful first photo at 15 stone 12!! 2 stone makes a lot of difference!
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